Briefly: Nick Hornby, Slam (2007)

Hornby, Nick, Slam, London: Putnam Books, 2007. 309 pp (hardcover, below)
_________, Slam, London & New York: Penguin Books, 2008. 342 pp (my edition, paperback, right)

Look for other reviews, quite all over the place, of Slam at Goodreads.

Fans of Nick Hornby will recommend any other book of his as a launching pad to get to know the author. Indeed, High Fidelity and About a Boy seem the most popular. I ended up starting with Slam simply because I had a copy lying around that a neighbour had tossed away, and I was only half-way through when I learned that Slam is a Young Adult novel. Perhaps that says a good amount about me, needing to be told the genre of this book, or any mainstream book, but whatever the analysis I was a bit sorry to have made that discovery, since it prejudiced my reading a little. I have not jumped onto the YA bandwagon, and don't plan to write any YA material myself, and yet I am glad that there is an emphasis on YA fiction since it promotes literacy and gets people to unplug themselves from social media and be handed some form of food for thought. Personally I'm an adult reader of adult fiction, I enjoy the classics, Eastern European fiction and things on the darker side. I read horror, short stories of all genres and lesser known literature (or "general fiction") which I like to write about, and here I am, with my two university degrees, adult writing and adult reading, caught in public reading a YA novel! For shame!

(Of course I'm being sarcastic. I still remember that poor guy in a university creative writing course who, without an ounce of self-consciousness, went on an informed spiel about the progression of Stephen King's writing,. Rather than listening and, god forbid, learning something, most others in the group were busy being noticeably annoyed that the impostor's name was even mentioned. They were even more annoyed when I started asking serious questions, prolonging the lecture. Really, how dare someone interfere with the course that they are paying for in order to help provide education? I'm surprised either of us managed to graduate and make a reasonable transition to the greater part of society. )

Okay, so I sort of enjoyed Slam. Whether classified Young Adult or Geriatric, the book was somewhat enjoyable but altogether frustrating. I laughed at times and was surprised at times. Laughing and being surprised are part of a positive experience. I was also annoyed at times, even frustrated. I'm no expert on adolescent or teen psychology and won't pretend to know the latest theories on how Hornby or anyone can affect the young mind by creating such an irresponsible, self-centred teenager... Wait. Isn't the point of being a teenager to be self-centred and irresponsible? Sigh... Hornby gets away with it.

What frustrated me the most was the lack of purpose and direction. No, the book is not a warning against teen parenthood or skateboarding. (If you haven't read the novel, it's told through the point of view of a sixteen year-old skater named Sam who knocks up his gorgeous girlfriend. Yes, she's gorgeous, of course she is, as Hornby--I mean Sam (no I don't) keeps reminding us.) The lack of direction, more so than purpose, deposited a sediment of doubt for the novel's overall effect, and that doubt was proven true when, after reading each milestone Sam and Alicia must experience, I am left thinking that the scene is exactly as I'd expected it to be. Though is was consistently funny.

Sam is telling us of two years of his life, from meeting the sexy Alicia to impregnating her and becoming a father, with lots of rambling, repetition and fine humour. The humour is really the only thing that makes the book worth reading. Perhaps a young adult would enjoy it on different levels, everything the constant dropping of pop culture references to the self-deprecating humour. I must say that Hornby is sensitive to Alicia's plight, in many ways more so than to Sam's, which is great for any young male reader to grasp the point of view of the one most affected by the pregnancy.

Minor spoiler. There's something Hornby does in Slam that I truly enjoyed. At about page 100, when I was starting to wonder if the story was actually going anywhere and looking over at my shelf for something I would much rather read, Sam, while talking to his Tony Hawk poster, gets "whizzed" into the future. He awakens when his son, evidently named Roof, is a few weeks old, and must go through the day without really knowing what's going on. I liked the touch and really don't care (in fact, prefer) that no explanation is given. A great, original touch, I felt. Now, the purpose eludes me, except that at the end we get another future "whizzing" and hence a brief epilogue of Sam's post-novel life. An annoying aspect of the "whizzing" is that Sam keeps mentioning it, to the point that every time he said "...that time when I got whizzed into the future," I was ready to give the book a slam of my own.

The title refers to Slamming on your skateboard, taking a nasty fall, and how Sam slams in life by knocking up the gorgeous beautiful sexy Alicia.

Overall it is not a book I would recommend.

Douglas Clegg, The Nightmare Chronicles (1999)

Clegg, Douglas, The Nightmare Chronicles, New York: Leisure Books, 1999. 360 pages

Overall 8/10
At Goodreads
Douglas Clegg's friendly website.

For some months now I've been wanting to read something by Douglas Clegg, having seen his paperbacks in various bookstores. I picked up this copy of The Nightmare Chronicles a few days ago in a Dubai second hand bookshop called Book World, for 16 dirhams (about 4.50 CAD). The book shop, of moderate size, is stocked full with titles, more than reasonably priced, and you can even return a book in condition and receive 50% of what you paid. Damn good idea, I think. Only problem is Book World deals mainly in bestsellers, mostly recent, so you won't find anything obscure. Also, one of the two employees continuously interrupted me by pushing books under my nose: "How about this, sir?" "You like Dan Brown, sir?" "Lots of people like this author, sir" ("this author" being Sidney Sheldon, who I've never read). The experience was becoming a nightmare chronicle of its own; I like to browse and to be left alone. Especially in a second hand book shop.

Digressions aside, I was truly impressed with this collection, and was not surprised to learn that it received the 1999 International Horror Guild Award for Best Collection, and the 1999 Bram Stoker Award for Superior Achievement in a Fiction Collection.

There is not a single story in the collection I did not like, and there are at least three that really stand out. What I like about Clegg, or at least about these stories, is that they are well written, patiently constructed, with a healthy emphasis on characterization. The thirteen stories were published between 1993 and 1999, two of which were original to the collection. The stories are framed by a narrative in which a woman named Alice (a name that is interestingly given to at least three other characters throughout the stories) and her two sons have kidnapped a boy for ransom. It turns out that this boy is not quite of this world, and has the ability to project nightmares onto his captors. The nightmares he projects are the thirteen stories. While the framing narrative is unnecessary, and not as well constructed as the stories themselves, it is still nonetheless interesting.

There are a number of themes & ideas that appear throughout the work. There is emphasis on religion, relationships and skin. Religion appears in various forms, from misled zealots to avenging angel-monsters. Relationships vary throughout, from unfaithful lovers to masculine prison love, and all forms of familial relations, and its the tightness of some of the relationships that makes the threats in the stories all the more frightening. When the horror is endangering someone with whom we've formed an emotional bond, there is more at stake. Finally, skin makes several appearances throughout. Clegg deals frequently with human skin and the strange worlds that we hide underneath. We have skins acting as trophies, metamorphosing, housing other creatures and even embodying strange worlds. We even receive brief lessons regarding insects and exoskeletons, that, unlike us, have their soft spots safely on the inside. Overall, the skins in these stories generated a better framework than the story of Alice and the kidnapped boy-devil, and I enjoyed Clegg's ideas regarding skin so much that I waited for its appearance in each piece.

There is also a nice "Afterword" in which Clegg briefly details the influence for each story. I always appreciate these touches.


Underworld    7/10     (Phantasm #3, 1996, as "Underground")

Aspiring writer Oliver takes his pregnant wife Jenny to a Szechuan restaurant in Palladin Row, a forgotten street in New York City. Shortly thereafter Jenny is murdered, and a year later, still dealing with his grief, Oliver visits the Szechuan restaurant, and looking through its boarded windows he believes he can see his dead wife. The story is written in a distant first person voice which helps us to quickly pass through the details of Jenny's death, which is a good thing since the story is not about her death, but about... something entirely different. Clegg does well in putting the story's necessary details together and delivering a quick read that, while offering nothing straightforwardly shocking, does offer an ending that makes the reader think, considering the implications of what just happened.

Spoiler: Now, learning that the infant spent a year being looked after by an imp or devil of some kind, I wonder how Oliver can integrate it into society. I don't mean psychologically or emotionally, but practically. Will he show up at the hospital and try to explain that he just retrieved his son from hell, and can he please have a birth certificate? And what would later be the birthplace listed on his passport? What would he tell his friends or even his lover? But all this aside, there is a nice ambiguity to the baby's existence since he was fed by hell's minions and we can wonder how he will turn out. Of course, the main point here is that the creatures of hell can be creatures of compassion. Or maybe the kid was just darned cute.

"Underworld," under its original title "Underground," was selected for inclusion in The Mammoth Book of Best Horror: Volume Eight, edited by Stephen Jones, NY: Carroll & Graf, 1997.


White Chapel     7/10     (Love in Vein: Twenty Original Tales of Vampiric Erotica, edited by Poppy Z. Brite and Martin Harry Greenberg, New York: HarperPrism, November 1994)
Journalist Jane Boone has been conducting research on the elusive killer Nathan Meritt, "The White Devil," or otherwise known as "The Hero Who Skinned A Thousand Faces." She has travelled with her photographer Rex and two wealthy tourists to a secluded region of India where she believes he has taken refuge, a place called "White Chapel," where the jealous Monkey God resides.

Among the horror sub-genres that tend to bore me (usually because so many are so alike) is that of the ancient gods and their spells that still linger in the modern world. Yet Clegg has managed to put together a dark fantasy that works beyond the stereotypes of the sub-genre, that has little to do with silly mortals seeking fortune only to fall under a spell they are too rational to believe in. For one thing, the god is nearly mortal and hence more accessible (especially compared to the run of tales that appeared in the 1930s and 40s). "White Chapel" touches on notions of the inner self in conflict with the public self, and the negligible difference between pleasure and pain. With a mostly straightforward telling, a foreign land imbued with its smells and sights, along with its well-drawn characters (though the dialogue and accents did at times distract), Clegg's modern version of the ancient gods tale, with its modern horror inclinations (the references to serial killing and child abuse) is well worth a read.


O, Rare and Most Exquisite     7/10     (Lethal Kisses, ed. Ellen Datlow, Millennium, 1996.)
In the nursing facility of a retirement home, a seventeen year-old boy meets Gus, a sickly retired gardener. From a tin box filled with sand, the old man produces a withered flower, and recounts his woeful tale of love for his former employer, and of the strange woman who loved him and gave him the rarest and most beautiful of flowers.

A strange and strangely touching story, I wonder only how someone as enchanting as Moira can love someone as bitter and selfish as Gus. It is certainly, among other things, a story of misplaced affections and , aside from Moira, the consequences of selfish desire.


Only Connect. (The Conspiracy Files, edited by Martin H. Greenberg and Scott H. Urban, NY: DAW Books, August 1998) 7/10
Jim sells train tickets at a small Connecticut railway station, and the night the train derails, killing seventy-nine, Jim is struck with an incredible headache and hallucinatory visions. The visions continue to strike at different points, transporting him into the body of Mrs. Catherine Earnshaw, a middle-aged resident of an English hospital. The name Catherine Earnshaw is of course a nod to Emily Bronte's Wuthering Heights.

Among the most straightforwardly suspenseful stories of the collection, due to the mystery of its premise. "Only Connect" is reminiscent of some of Philip K. Dick's work, like Time Out of Joint (1959), as well as the excellent The Outer Limits episode "Tempests," (1997) as we try to figure out which reality is the "real" thing. A strong story, I found it slightly weakened by the bookend paragraphs, the cautionary framing voice that detracts from the story's focus. I wonder if this were an afterthought, or something requested by the editors.


The Fruit of Her Womb     6/10     (Phantoms of the Night, edited by Richard Gilliam and Martin H. Greenberg, NY: DAW Books, June 1996)
Retired high school teacher James Richter and his wife Jackie move into an isolated California home to enjoy a peaceful final decade. They soon learn, however, that a previous owner of their new home, Joe Redlander, murdered his entire family. Rather than being disturbed, Richter is intrigued and his interest in the mystery soon turns to an obsession.

Not an original idea by any stretch, the story is nonetheless well written, and the strong characterization of James, Jackie and their relationship salvage this otherwise weaker story. The problem is that it ends as one would expect such a story to end, and that the Egyptology and Persephone myths seemed glossed over, as though mere excuses for the supernatural occurrences; though the ambiguity with the supernatural works well. The story also features the visuals and scents that help make Clegg's stories so concrete.


The Rendering Man     8/10     (Cemetery Dance #19, Volume 6, No. 1, edited by Richard T. Chizmar, Winter 1994. pp 37-47)
In 1934 Oklahoma, eleven year-old Thalia Inez Canty and her big brother Lucius take care of the family farm while their parents are away at work. When they find the corpse of their sow rotting in the dirt, they take it to the Rendering Man, for he pays well for dead things, skilled at finding a use for their different parts.

Among the strongest stories of the collection, "The Rendering Man" is very well written, revealing itself patiently through well-rounded scenes and strong characters. The story contains some rewarding surprises, and a great connection between internationally and historically significant atrocities, and the atrocities humans are capable of on a quieter scale, closer to home. More allusions to skin and our inability to hide from who we are.


The Night Before Alec Got Married     8/10     (Palace Corbie #5, Vol. 3, No. 1, edited by Wayne Edwards & Helen Homan, Lincoln NE: Merrimack Books, 1994)
Among a preppy crowd of socially hungry twenty-somethings, a couple of guys search the streets for the perfect prostitute for their most popular friend's bachelor party.

The story is narrated by one friend to another, so there is an interesting mix of first and second person narratives that is unusual and refreshing. The second person "you" is inherently aimed at both the intended, unnamed character and the reader, yet since the unnamed character is such an immature buffoon, the fact that we the reader is included in the "you" adds an element of humour, especially when we're told early on that we managed to get two of our fingers shot off. The humour helps highlight the notions of human relationships, particularly the trappings of social acceptance and how one's entourage defines one's self. The narrator's focus on homo-eroticism is a fitting detail. Beyond this there is, of course, a truly creepy element that is revealed only at the end.


The Ripening Sweetness of Late Afternoon     7/10     (Dante's Disciples, edited by Peter Crowther & Edward E. Kramer, White Wolf, 1996)
Travelling preacher Roy Shadiak returns to his hometown of Sunland City hoping to atone for a double murder he committed many years before. In the meantime, however, Sunland City has been plagued by monstrous angels who swoop down at midday to carry off any townspeople who may be wandering outdoors.

A compelling story with a truly disturbing idea and a good ending. I felt the story did take time getting to its core, a feeling I shared with three stories in this collection; the preamble of Shadiak's wanderings and the slow-paced return could possibly have been shortened. I was also caught by the grammatical ambiguity of the opening: "Sunland City was the last place in the world Jesus was ever going to come looking for Roy Shadiak. // He returned to his hometown in his fortieth year..." The "He" can be either Roy or that other person, but of course it's referring to Roy.


Chosen     8/10     (The Nightmare Chronicles, NY: Leisure Books, 1999)
Rob Arlington lives alone in an over-priced, roach-infested apartment building in New York City. One night as he's doing laundry in the basement, he discovers something truly horrific in one of the garbage disposal shafts, which soon paves the way for something even more disturbing.

My synopsis is vague since I don't want to reveal even the slightest plot point of a truly creepy story. "Chosen" is not only disturbing, but featuring yet another patiently-told tale with solid characters and atmosphere. Moreover, the story is well focused, and though a little longer than most, it never feels overly-long. The second of my three favourite stories in the collection. Interestingly, protagonist Rob has turned forty, the same age as Clegg, assuming he wrote it the year before the story first saw print in the collection.


"The Little Mermaid"     6/10     (The Nightmare Chronicles, NY: Leisure Books, 1999)
Divorced middle-aged Alice lives by the beach. She has been noticing an old man collecting shells, and when she sprains her ankle he quickly comes to her aid. As they talk he mentions that when he was a boy he believed in mermaids, and now that he is growing old his youthful beliefs are returning.

The second story to first see print in the collection, it is not as engaging as "Chosen" but is nonetheless a good read. Disturbing, certainly, but I seem to prefer Clegg's work to be a little longer, since I enjoy his attention to detail and characterization.


Damned if You Do     7/10     (Cemetery Dance #16, Volume 5, No. 2, edited by Richard T. Chizmar, Spring 1993. pp 4-11)
A sixty-three year-old man is burying his wife in his yard. I won't expand so as not to ruin any surprises. A good read, it manages to garner sympathy for the elderly killer.


The Hurting Season     7/10     (Deathrealm, edited by Mark Rainey, Fall 1993. pp 7-10)
Theron wonders why his father has to hurt. Living completely isolated across from Tangier Island, off the coast of Virginia, has made his family notorious for their differences. When a Yankee reporter 's car breaks down nearby, Theron sees it as an opportunity to stop his father from hurting. Another story with a slow start, but again it's well written and the reporter's appearance alters the pace and builds to a great climax. A story of the middle-of-nowhere outcasts along the lines of Deliverance, but nothing like James Dickey's novel; this story is told from the point of view of the member of the outcast family rather than the civilized outsider. Theron, however, is only partly an outsider as he questions the family traditions. He is, however, inevitably fated to follow those traditions. How touching.


I Am Infinite: I Contain Multitudes     8/10     (Palace Corbie 7, eds. Wayne Edwards and John Marshall, Lincoln, NE: Merrimack Books, 1997)
A man in prison is given the opportunity to escape by a wizened inmate who everyone believes is God. An incredible story, deserving of the recognition it has received. I've always liked prison stories, and not only is the concept of this one, along with its fantastic ending, highly original, Clegg's emphasis on relationships and basic human needs is well characterized and well written.

Nominated for the 1997 Bram Stoker Award, Superior Achievement in Short Fiction, and included in The Year's Best Fantasy and Horror: Eleventh Annual Collection (Ellen Datlow & Terri Windling), July 1998. Hopefully it will find its way into a popular anthology.

Michael Crichton, Jurassic Park (1990)

Crichton, Michael, Jurassic Park, New York: Alfred A. Knopf, November 1990 (hardcover)
Crichton, Michael, Jurassic Park, New York: Ballantine Books, September 1991 (paperback)

For other editions, see Jurassic Park at Goodreads or ISFDb.

My response to Michael Crichton's best-known work was surprising: I was glued to the novel and highly entertained. Despite its contentious science, half-formed characters and overly long sequences, Jurassic Park is a good read. The set-up is long yet interesting, as Crichton speculates about the details of bringing dinosaurs back to life, along with the tightly considered aspects of creating and running a dinosaur amusement park. Indeed the set-up is the stronger portion of the novel, since the latter half is burdened by the overly long chase and attack sequences, and the over-written, often annoying rantings of mathematician Ian Malcolm.

Malcolm comes across as Crichton in disguise. A raving chaos theorist, he is the antithesis to Jurassic Park's creator and mad corporate man, John Hammond (perhaps the first mad scientist who isn't actually a scientist at all, though corporatism is a form of modern science). Both characters are portrayed as narrow-minded in their obsessive world views (Malcolm unintentionally), though we see that Crichton's sympathies lie with the mathematician if only because his long-winded rants remain unchallenged by other characters, aside from Hammond's "I don't know what you're talking about.

What Malcolm and Crichton are talking about is the notion of responsibility. Using science, nearly anyone can create a remarkable wonder or discover a fascinating aspect of the Earth's past, yet humans fail in that they do not consider the consequences of their creations or their discoveries. While striving for accomplishment, humans are destined to harm the world around them. This idea is highlighted by a scene late in the book when Hammond manages to blame nearly everyone for the failure of his amusement park, from his grandchildren to the local hired hands, leaving out only the reader and Crichton himself. (Imagine that for a a great postmodern twist: "It was the author's fault for writing this novel, Hammond insisted.")

Among Malcolm's many empirical and overblown statements is: "Discovery is always a rape of the natural world. Always." (284) Though his opening statements are interesting, he loses credibility with Crichton's inability to have him stop. (Thankfully I like to end my own points quickly, though some of you currently entangled on the internets are probably thinking "Not quickly enough.")

The difficulties with these passages are essentially related to character. The many characters in the novel are unfortunately handled quite poorly. Crichton inserts brief character descriptions at certain points, keeping them brief so as not to interfere with the fast-paced plot. The characters remain mostly sketches, delineated with familiar traits (computer wiz Dennis Nedry is a junk-a-holic, computer operator John Arnold is a nervous chain-smoker, while park warden Robert Muldoon likes to nip from a flask, which he oddly seems to discover only late in the book). The kids can get annoying and repetitive, and some characters seem to disappear despite having a strong initial presence, in particular Dr. Ellie Sattler, the only adult female character of note.

Jurassic Park is yet another work that would have been more successful if shortened. I would easily bite off about fifty or sixty pages, and the dinosaur-attacking-kids sequences and Malcolm's rantings would be my first victims. The reader is fairly certain that the kids will not be among the victims, so these scenes lack suspense. I believe Crichton, despite the violence and occasional profanity, was hoping to reach a younger audience along with the adults. Specifically he seems to have wanted a younger male audience, as he mentions more than once that young boys are inherently interested in dinosaurs, and Timothy is far more heroic than little sister Alexis. This need explains the emphasis on adventure alongside the smart nerdy boy, while the tom-boy girl eventually proves to be less of an athlete and more of a whiner.


List of Characters (excluding minor players; notice how a number of characters have first names as last names.)

Dr. Alan Grant, paleontologist
Dr. Ellie Sattler, paleontologist
John Hammond, Jurassic Park creator
Dr. Ian Malcolm, mathematician
Donald Gennaro, legal counsel for InGen
Robert Muldoon, park warden
Dr. Henry Wu, geneticist
John Arnold, computer operator
Timothy Murphy, Hammond's grandson
Alexis "Lex" Murphy, Hammond's granddaughter
Dr. Harding, veterinarian
Ed Regis, publicist
Dennis Nedry, computer programmer
Dr. Martin Gutierrez, medical doctor
Bob Morris, Environmental Protection Agency
Lewis Dodgson, Biosyn representative, InGen competitor

Aside: On Hiatus

My posts have been infrequent due to some life events, not because I've lost interest in posting.

I will be out of the country for two months, returning in mid-November.

I do have many posts in progress so it's not entirely unlikely that nothing will appear at all.

(Notice the double negative.)

Internet access will be sporadic, and hence my replies to posts and to emails will be delayed.

Thank you all for visiting.

Alfred Hitchcock's Mystery Magazine, July 1965: The Interior Art

Alfred Hitchcock's Mystery Magazine, Vol. 10, No. 7, July 1965
For a review of the issue's stories, please visit here.

Though the covers of the AHMM issues during the 1960s and 1970s were less than unremarkable, the interior drawings are a treat. I don't know who was responsible for these, but the artist's attention to detail, interesting facial interpretations and great quirkiness is an absolute treat, helping to enhance the overall issues and the individual stories themselves. As a kid in the mid-80s I would purchase these back issues for a quarter at a local second hand book store, and before even reading the issues I would sit and look at the art, at times trying to interpret what the stories were about.

Here is a rundown of most of the art in the July 1965 issue, which I reviewed a little while ago.Bragging about paying only a quarter, some of the issues were unfortunately in poor condition, this one being among the worst since someone was unable to mentally calculate 60 + 7.50 + 2.25. But I guess those were big numbers back when this issue cost only fifty cents. (I cropped off the top of this image; though I loved the book shop as a kid, in hindsight I'm quite upset they ruined all their merchandise by ink stamping their store name and location on the first page.)

The first full-page artwork is for the lead-in story, "The Peregrine" by Clark Howard. This image, in all its ugly brown splendour, depicts our two convicts amid the thick brush as they discover the infant bird. The drawing below, from the bottom of page 11, depicts the unsympathetic prison guard as he sits behind the line that no prisoner shall cross, unless they wish to get shot point blank. (A third image I didn't include as it contains a spoiler.)

The title image for Ed Lacy's "The Little Things" (page 17) includes a hint as to why convict Harry Morris was killed. The murder is depicted on page 20, with an accurate rendering of the shooting, including the bullet's point of impact. Lovely.


















D. S. Halacy Jr.'s "Hardheaded Cop" receives the second full-page colour rendering, with our "hero" Police Sergeant Dave Hackett slumped in his kitchen chair, beer in hand, with his lovely wife being, well, a lovely wife, with Hackett's steaming dinner in hand. My feelings about the characters are made clear in my review, but I nonetheless like the detailed aspect of the drawing, the full-sized kitchen complete with dotted floors, mountains of dishes and... hey wait! Is that a kitchen window behind the cop? And is that a door leading to a dining room that clearly continues behind the wall. I see, the kitchen window gives a nice view of the dining room. Kind of like the set of a sitcom. (Incidentally, as a kid I thought the fists on the title page were punching the cop, but only later did it dawn on me that they are rapping his head, testing for firmness.)

For Carroll Mayers's "Man with a Hobby" we have the man in question, local Sam Hubbard, immersed in his hobby of pursuing potential bad guys. Sam is a chubby, clumsy-looking fellow, less akin to a bounty hunter than one would imagine, while the potential thug is quite thug-like, staring at the Fidelity Loan Company across the street. I love the steaming cup of coffee, the diner tablecloth, red an white despite the black and white, and the two lines beside Sam's coat button, emphasizing his pudginess.


Richard Deming's highly enjoyable "Gentle Bluebeard" is positively enhanced by the charming drawings. While the full-page yellow garage meeting between Sergeant Sod Harris and mechanic Mosher seems an odd choice for such focus as there is nothing terribly integral to the moment, the various images of poor Arlene Mosher lounging in the hospital bed (pages 54 and 55) throughout her various misfortunes are sensitively detailed, and even charming. The story's title page is nicely rendered with the old hospital bed, it's little wheels and the medical chart hanging on its frame. The decision to place Deming's name underneath the bed is great. Perhaps it's just me, but I found a little humour in the layout of the three different hospitalization scenes. The beds are identical but the lamps are different as are her flowers. She's probably lying there wondering how she can possibly be such a klutz. Poor Arlene Mosher.





















The disappointing "Loaded Guns Are Dangerous" by Richard O. Lewis has some amusing art. The author's name on the title page is not a series of bullet hole, but the dots help to represent George's valuable coin collection. Gullible Martha appears in all her fine, loud-mouthed glory, and the inset of one of the bad guys is great.



















"A Very Cold Gimlet" features a very busy title. "A Very Cold" hovers over a nicely frosted glass filled with "Gimlet," while Frank Sisk's name sits in the glass's shadow. In the inset to the right we have the very cold, sharply drawn Janice Sanford, beside a friendly enough looking bit character. Janice appears icily laughing on the phone while our "hero" Osgood Chase is fuming beside her, each armed with a gimlet. While I like Janice's sharp curls, the tough guy look of Chase somehow doesn't match the man I had in mind.


My favourite art for any story belongs to Gloria Ericson's "See No Evil." The monkey faces in the title page are more comical than creepy, while the lettering is a little juvenile, particularly the drooping "EVIL." On the other hand, the depiction of pet shop owner is excellent, as he looks partly like an ape, and somewhat like a mouse. His character is consistent in both images. On the right he is shocked at Miss Decker collapsing, while the monkey stares, appropriately with an excellent bird's eye view, his little doll leaning against his cage. We see Miss Decker's belongings scattered across the floor, including her cash and her house key. The image below, with the ape-like Benjy finding Miss Decker's loot, includes some amusing wall photos of her beloved dog, which is a great detail.

The title to Arthur Porges's "The Perfect Wife" is wonderful, as the somewhat comical story has a very comical rendering of the strangling of one of the "little old biddies" that our so-called hero dislikes so much. There is also a small inset of our dashing narrator which I do not include. This drawing is a small filler, adding little to anything, and not quite rendering the killer as I would expect to see him."The Five-Minute Millionaire" is granted one of the full-page colour images, this one in ugly brown, though a lighter brown than that used for "The Peregrine." The title page shows a woman pulling the minute hand of a clock (the author's name is in the facing page), while the full page depicts the murder. The title page seems a little messy, and it took me five minutes to figure out what the lady in the sheer gown was doing (looks almost like she's holding an umbrella). As for the title page I love the over-sized mallet thing, especially in contrast to the victim's tiny flashlight. I also like that the artist includes the victim's shadow, only it contradicts the tiny flashlight, giving the impression that the room is fully lit.




Wenzell Brown's short piece "Gallivantin' Woman" has only a title page, which features Miss Susie Sloane happily gallivantin'. An amusing, exaggerated rendition of the annoying little woman.




The title for "The Kidnappers" features trembling lettering alongside a trembling kidnapped boy and a calmer woman. The facing page has either criminal or payee with the loot bag rushing by a lamp post and over the author's name. The yellow page below has the gluttonous Mr. Kapon worrying over son Timothy while holding up the ransom note, while the seductress secretary is vying for the businessman's attentions. Details include a bundle of letters on Kapon's desk (his laptop must be in the drawer) and a pretty heart-shaped locket on the succubus, I mean secretary's right wrist.


The double-paged title to "Welcome Stranger" is nicely detailed. The story's lettering is on a large highway billboard which has become the archetypical hiding place for a highway patrol car seeking speedsters, while Elijah Ellis's name appears in a small picket sign. We have our crooked sheriff lounging with his cigarette, while his intended victims are driving by. Look closely around the billboard and you'll notice some signs, like the 20 mph speed limit, details that are mentioned in the story.



Finally, our novelette for the month, Richard Hardwick's "Slow Motion Murder," gives us a watery title and the final full-page colour illustration. The illustration, in a bold green, depicts the scene of the crime. This one too is nicely detailed. I suspect the illustrator read each of these stories, considered their potential and carefully selected each scene to depict. Moreover, s/he does a great job at illustrating the story titles, even though the lettering reminds me at times of my childhood attempts at drawing, back when I drew regularly under the misguided suspicion that I had such talents.

Dark Moon Digest #3 (April 2011)

Dark Moon Digest, Issue 3, April 2011. 125 pp.
Edited by Stan Swanson
Published by Dark Moon Books, an imprint of Stony Meadow Publishing


Issue three of Dark Moon Digest has a revamped cover style, and it's a grand improvement. The logo, layout and design, and the truly creepy cover artwork, make for an attractive issue. The handsome work is credited to Whendy Muchlis Effendy.

Once again DMD features a wide array of media, including short stories, flash fiction, longer prose excerpts, graphic work, calls for submission, and sentence-long micro-fiction. As per usual I am limiting my reviews to longer prose works, though I've included some brief comments on the flash fiction.


"Cirque des Facades" by Chris Thorndycroft. 6/10
In the seedier quarter of late nineteenth century Paris, along the lower Seine, lies the abject entertainment district, that part of town where people thrive on immoral theatre, on the basest forms of amusement. The district's star is Madame Babineaux, a former prostitute who has done well for herself by imitating the recently departed scandalous figures of Parisian society. It's thanks to their recent demise that her mimicry is so accurate, since she wears their faces on a purely literal level.

Despite its obvious direction, I enjoyed the story quite a bit. Vividly and darkly detailed, this district of Paris becomes the central figure of the tale, overshadowing Babineaux as well as the plot. The amoral figures are born into their decrepit existence, and ambitions for survival and fame lead them to practice their ghoulish acts, from Babineax herself, her mysterious rival and the mortician who sells her the peeled off faces for her act. I would encourage the author to consider more such tales, and perhaps re-working this one.

Now that I've openly stated liking the story, I'm going to pick on it a little. "A few miles downriver, the muddy banks of the Seine attracted the lowest elements of Parisian society. It offered the perfect place for the circuses, freak shows and gin houses to make their living well away from the turned-up noses and frowns of the better areas of the city."

The paragraph preceding the one above is set in the very district, so when reading "A few miles downriver" we're being taken away from the district to another, and I needed to stop and re-read to realise we're at the same place, as if the river were a circular body. The author meant to say that this particular seedy district lies a few miles downriver from the posher parts of Paris. Moreover it's Paris, so perhaps kilometres would be more appropriate.

Lately I've noticed a general trend in overusing prepositions. Perhaps it's the need for accuracy or clarity or some form of self-conscious tic, but it makes for clunky, jagged reading. I would recommend the following second sentence re-write: "The district offered a perfect haven for the circuses, freak shows and gin houses to make their living well away from the turned-up noses and frowns of the city's more affluent areas." Eliminating as many of thes and other prepositional connections eases the flow. In the meantime I've replaced "place" since it's too general, and I must shake my head at "better areas" as well, since who is to say they are better. I can't claim that my version of the sentence is better, only that it's more syntactically accurate, but each reader can claim for themselves which is indeed better. For instance, the seedy part of Paris is a far better locale for the story than the affluent areas.

Speaking of abstractions, some of the descriptions left me scratching my head. "The world returned to Madame Babineaux like some dark movement beneath the murky waters of the Seine." Hmmm... I think I know what he's trying to say, but a little overkill on the Seine and I really don't know what "some dark movement" means. It's an abstraction. It returns to her as though she were half-submerged in these murky waters? Or is the world moving underwater while she is watching from the dry shore? There are other examples but I'll stop here.

Once again I did like the story, I'm hoping only to help make it better. Or if not "better," at least more concrete :)


"Death By Scrabble" by Charlie Fish. 7/10
About a year ago someone at Goodreads brought this story to my attention (it was published online at short-stories.co.uk in 2006) and I'm glad to see the story in print. The set-up is simple: a couple is playing scrabble on an uncomfortably hot day. There is tension in the relationship heightened by the sweltering temperatures. Told through the point of view of the husband who wants very much to win and very much to get rid of his wife, he soon learns that the letters spelled out on the board immediately manifest themselves in reality. He spells EXPLODES and the air conditioner blows up, and when he spells FLY a buzzing insect appears. Realizing the power of the scrabble letter tiles, he attempts to discover a way to get rid of his wife.

This is a simple yet fun story that works because of its sense of humour and the excellent pacing, and also because it's quite short so we don't get tired of the gimmick. "It's hot and I hate my wife," it opens, setting us up and hooking us in with only a few words.

(It also reminds me of the truly brilliant Richard Condie NFB film The Big Snit, a short film I am always pleased to be reminded of.)


"Blood on the Strip" by Axel Howerton. 3/10
An elderly cowboy stumbles into an old-style coffee shop off the strip in Las Vegas and tells the assembled crowd, and the reader, of the craziness he's just witnessed. His tale involves a magician, a mysterious shaman, a pair of white tigers... and meanwhile emergency sirens outside are consistently blaring by. The story is interesting and there is a fair amount of suspense, until the zombies appear and the needless violence takes over. Once we realize what's going on, we have to sit through a tired zombie attack, which is unfortunate, especially since we're only half-way through the story.

The author's bio was more entertaining.


"The Monster on Myers Avenue" by Greg Mollin. 6/10
Edgar "Dumpster" Dunston is cycling through his old school grounds the summer before junior high, when he's attacked by bully Charley Specter, who, unlike his name, is less than ghostlike. Charley wants to remind Edgar that he is supposed to break into the seemingly empty home of the reclusive elderly Mrs. Melody Oakenfold and to remove the treasures Charley is convinced are stashed away in the house. Earlier, in a brief prologue, we have learned that Mrs. Oakenfold is dead, and that there is a demonic presence in her house.

Then some stuff happens, which I won't give away. I liked this one but the prose needs to be tightened and the familiar characters and scenarios done just a little differently. What I like is that our (anti)hero Edgar is walking the tightrope of moral development, while we wonder which end he will fall into. Edgar is the son of a drunken and abusive man, and is a social outcast because of his imperfect speech and unfortunate hygiene issues. Moreover, he is depressed because the only person who did not avoid him, little Jenny Forester, was recently killed in a hit-and-run. We sympathize with the poor kid, yet don't fully trust his pre-developed sense of good and evil. Remember, Edgar in King Lear was the good son (not to be confused with his jealous and scheming illegitimate brother Edmund), so we have hope, but how can someone with so few prospects turn out good, especially when about to face a (literal) demon from hell?

Spoiler. Well, this demon (named Leonard) is trapped in time and place and in order to get back to his realm needs a human victim, and Edgar must choose whether or not to lead Charley simultaneously to hell and out of his life. This is where the story falls apart for me. The choice is Edgar's, and a serious one it is as it will affect the course of his moral development, yet the demon Leonard seals the decision by essentially choosing for Edgar, telling him if he won't supply a victim, then he himself will be the victim. The story would have been far more effective if Edgar heads toward Charley, considering his options, and only when seeing the bully makes the decision for himself. The last line would also make more sense as it is part of his downward moral progression. (Then we can wonder what junior high with Edgar would be like.)

Finally, there is another problem in that Leonard, an almost non-stereotypical demon, tells Edgar that once he has a victim he will leave this realm, yet at the end is still in the house. I prefer the idea that the demon is eternally trapped (or at the least trapped long-term) with the subtle implication that Edgar must feed it from time to time. This will add emphasis to the end, as well as to the title.


"Voices Carry" by Tom Wortmann. 7/10
In 1944 a team of allied foot soldiers are canvassing southern Poland searching for the remaining concentration camps, scouting the land ahead of the tank troupes. The story, told through vignettes from the points of view of several different and varied characters, tells of their long march and of the frightening discovery at an abandoned camp.

Wortmann's story received the Dark Moon Digest prize for best entry in its recent vampire short story contest, and though I haven't yet read issue four of DMD, I am ready to award it the figurative prize for best short story to have appeared in the magazine's first year. The best thing about "Voices Carry" is that it is well written, competently focusing on character and using its smaller details effectively. Whatever this story was going to be about, whatever sub-genre it would introduce, I didn't care since I was hooked early on and read it quickly through.

To be honest, I am a prejudiced reader, and don't care for vampire stories (I've been disappointed too often, and the mythology has the tendency to become silly and self-conscious), but even knowing this piece was vampire-related, the writing and story progression managed to take hold my prejudice and slap me with it. Well done, Mr. Wortmann. The thing is, it's not really about vampires; the undead here illustrate the severing from life of those who have been severed from both their homes and from the comforts of home through the horrors of war. Far more frightening than a bite on the neck.

The only problem I have with the story (which is why I graded it 7/10 rather than a deserved 8), is that the final vignette is a weak and unnecessary finish. The previous vignette's image and last line is far more powerful, and leaving the reader with that final, frightening image would have been exemplary.


"Tenants, Part Two" by Kevin McClintock. 7/10
As we follow Angela's exploits in trying to get to her daughter, we must survive a detailed car chase and a confrontation with a cop with a history. What makes "Tenants" work is not the plot itself, which is essentially an extended chase with promise, nor the writing per se, since despite it being told through the point of view of a woman it is clearly being written by a man, but the pacing and energy. McClintock infuses his tale with some truly energetic writing, so that the seemingly unending car chase is never dull, and the eventual violence does not feel overdone.

The cliffhanger here doesn't work too well, since we know there are two parts remaining and hence Angela cannot die, at least not yet.


"Rub Me the Wrong Way" by Heather Durkin. 6/10
Massage therapist Abby's first client of the day proves to be challenging, since she turns out to be a zombie. Abby works for a clinic that does not exclude or prejudice, so vampires, shifters and zombies are all welcome. The problem is that zombies are known to occasionally go ballistic and try to munch on the brains of the living.

There is no real story-line here, but that's what makes this an entertaining read. a massage therapist herself, author Durkin does well in pacing the narrative, told through Abby's point of view, around her skills while informing the reader of the various complications with massaging zombies. Well written despite the misuse of lay/lie, was/were, and other minor bumps along the sentences.


"Kindread" by Richard Moore. 6/10
Poor inbred child Lyle. As he's trying to carve up a pretty young girl, his mother crawls back home to interrupt his plans. The whole business is shocking, especially since it's been two weeks since he's killed his ma, and the best part, why she's crawling, is she doesn't have any legs. Well, not exactly, since they're out front running around. It turns out the swamp water Lyle dumped his mother's body into, after having cut her in two, has the ability to fuse different organisms together, a process that I suppose also revives the dead. The final sequence is reminiscent of John Carpenter's excellent The Thing.

I enjoyed this story more than I thought I would, since I'm not too fond of comedy horror. It wasn't exactly funny, but it was entertaining. I just wonder what the author could have done if he treated this idea seriously. Sure it's outlandish, but outlandish story ideas don't necessarily need to be relegated to horror's least effective sub-genres.


"All Consuming Hunger of Love" by Araminta Star Matthews. 6/10
Margaret Cron's husband Robert was just killed in a car accident, leaving the woman in a near paralyzing state of grief. Following years of co-dependency, former librarian Margaret is losing her grasp on reality, and is determined to get her Robert back. The story flows fairly well and the plot is well developed with an unpredictable denouement. It has some pacing problems though, mainly in that it's overly long, especially the closer we near the end. Shortening some sequences and tightening some elements would help the story considerably, and the strong plot elements deserve this.

A fairly polished story, there are nonetheless some unfortunate oversights, the most embarrassing being that the prestigious Paris university Sorbonne is referred to as the Sarbonne.


"The Smell of Death" by Graham Williams. 4/10
Three members of a (probably metal) band and their (probable) groupie Jessy are stuck in a food-depleted house during a zombie uprising. Our intelligence-deficient quad have run out of zombie repellent, and attempt to concoct a lotion that would allow them to pass through the neighbourhood hordes and get to the nearest club for a bite and maybe a brew. As I've stated, horror comedy does not digest well with me, and I hurried through this one.

Flash fiction:

"The End" (or "Finis") by Graham Williams. 5/10
A straightforward piece of a pair of collaborators completing their sure-fire money-making masterpiece. It would work better if it were flashier (as in shorter), though I like the play with the title.

"The Fourth Girl" by Grier Jewell. 7/10
Three girls are cloud-watching, but there is that fourth girl whose name no one can remember. This one managed to impress me, especially with the nice and creepy surrealist quality. Three girls are cloud-watching, but there is that fourth girl...

finis

Alfred Hitchcock's Mystery Magazine, July 1965

Alfred Hitchcock's Mystery Magazine, Vol. 10, No. 7, July 1965. 160 pp
G. F. Foster, Editor
Richard E. Decker, Publisher
Victoria S. Benham & Pat Hitchcock, Associate Editors
Marguerite Blair Deacon, Art Director

For the great interior artwork, please visit this page.

This ugly cover is supposed to be celebrating Independence Day of 1965. Ugly most definitely, but, in comparison to the other covers from the decade, there is at least something going on.

Thirteen short stories and one novelette over 160 pages (the 164 advertised on the cover includes all four cover pages). There are no stand-out stories in this issue, the strongest being Clark Howard's lead-in piece "The Peregrine," Gloria Ericson's "See No Evil" and "The Five-Minute Millionaire," by James Cross. The only real downer is D. S. Halacy Jr.'s "Hard Headed Cop," which falls apart due to the plot's latter turn of convenience.

What's interesting is that a number of our stories here feature criminals who get away with their crimes.


"The Peregrine" by Clark Howard. 7/10
Prison road workers Conley and Beever come across a helpless young female falcon, and Conley immediately recognizes the bird as a potential for escape. The wise and experienced Conley begins to train the bird with the help of the slow-witted old Beever, and tensions rise steadily between the two during the month of the peregrine's training. A tightly-written story and quite suspenseful; though we know the story will end with some kind of backlash twist, I personally could not tell how Conley would get caught.


"The Little Things" by Ed Lacy. 4/10
Chief Paul Polo is awaiting the 6:45 train and its passenger, recently released convict Harry Morris. Morris was convicted years before for murdering his lover, and Polo's diligent investigating had secured a confession from a dying man, proving Morris's innocence. Pleased with himself yet still sympathetic to the painter Morris, Polo invites him to stay at his home, but Morris declines, confessing he had saved up $6,000 (which was quite a bit back in 1965). A few minutes following this conversation, Morris is gunned down by men in a passing car.

This interesting mystery leaves little to remember it by. Though I was clueless as to the murderer's identity and the motive until Polo speculates on it, the writing itself is so straightforwardly dull that I also didn't care too much. There is nothing about the prose, about the dialogue or the characters to set this piece apart from any other generic mystery. The resolution of the case is also anticlimactic, since the telling is so straightforward and the reveal so unexciting that in a month I won't recall a thing about the story.


"Hardheaded Cop" by D. S. Halacy, Jr. 3/10
Police Sergeant Dave Hackett arrives home for dinner in a bitter mood. His pregnant wife Margie is cooking steaks, fetching him beer and asking about his day, but Hackett, oblivious to her attentions, is so grumpy that he is downright mean. It turns out he didn't get that promotion to Lieutenant. Moreover, it went to Jerry Nelson, a man with two years less on the force. Dave is a good, dedicated cop, but a little too by-the-book, and the town takes advantage of his strict code to ridicule the entire understaffed police force.

There are a number of reasons this story doesn't work, and a few that make it dull.

A lack of plot makes a good character study, or an examination of a scene or scenario, any moment in time, but not a good mystery story, especially one that pretends the elements of plot. It's not that there's no cohesive story, but very little happens, and what little does happen is too conveniently appropriate. The final showdown has nothing to do with the story taking place, and comes in too conveniently to alter the course of the narrative and bring it to its end. A deus ex machina, as Henry James called it.

This trope also manages to reform the town's perception of Hackett. The townsfolk dislike the cop, and Hackett does absolutely nothing to gain their trust and respect. It's the chance heroic act that changes the town's feelings toward him, yet he does nothing to change his ill-tempered ways. The incident has nothing to do with his longed-for promotion, and moreover his actions were risky since he endangered the life of a young hostage. A chance shooting does not a hero make, and the story is saying that a chance shooting not only makes a hero, but defines the man.

Speaking of the man, the scene between Hackett and his wife is uncomfortably aggressive. Behind the times, even for 1965, Mrs. Hackett does everything to ease her hubby's ill-feelings, and receives nasty treatment in response. The story also manages to promote the notion that a son has more value than a daughter.

Hackett does not change, and using more of Henry James terminology, he is a stock character.


"Man with a Hobby" by Carrol Mayers. 6/10
The lone deputy of the small community of Surf City recounts the case of Sam Hubbard, a man with a hobby. Since he moved into town, widower Hubbard has been keeping tabs on wanted and suspicious men, hoping to claim a reward if one were caught through information he's provided. Just before lunch he enters the police station to tell of a criminal-looking outsider who appears interested in the town's Fidelity Loan Company.

A quick and fun read, there is nothing remarkable about the story, the twist or the set-up. There is an attempt at lightness and dated humour (the deputy remarks that his own hobby is girl-watching), which is fine for the type of simple mystery it is. [Spoiler] It also helps the reader accept that a criminal gets away with his crime, a feat rare in most cases of AHMM, EQMM and the rest, though surprisingly common in this issue.


"Gentle Bluebeard" by Richard Deming. 7/10
Sergeant Sod Harris is dispatched to investigate a call from a doctor who has been treating a patient who might have been poisoned. Oddly enough, though she was quite ill, her sickness never approached dangerous proportions, and though there is clear evidence of tranquilizer in her blood stream, it isn't enough to have caused any long-term damage. The case appears at first to be a misdiagnosis, yet it takes on another dimension when Harris learns that the patient, Mrs. Arlene Mosher, has been hospitalized four times in the past two years, three times due to an apparent poisoning, though never of a serious extreme. The first time she fell down a flight of stairs.

A good set-up and a good, straightforward investigation makes for a suspenseful read. Deming was a frequent contributor to AHMM, though I don't know if Sergeant Sod Harris was a regular character (Google gives no evidence). It's nice to read along with an unassuming detective, who is never ahead of us with the investigation, nor behind us for that matter. The reader makes each discovery along with Harris, and learns the nature of the plot at the same instant he does. Some nice character-driven drama and a satisfyingly fitting conclusion make for a well-constructed story.


"Loaded Guns Are Dangerous" by Richard O. Lewis. 5/10
George is at home one evening when there is a knock at the door. Two men are standing there, asking to use his telephone, and George suspects they are those thief-murderers he's been reading about, possibly after his valuable coin collection. He's prepared though, with loaded guns placed throughout the house, but how can he get to them? And then his gullible wife Martha appears and invites the men inside, chatting them up even as they draw their guns and ask about George's coins.

An amusing little story with an out-of-place ending. I just can't imagine [Spoiler] the soft, mild-mannered George pulling a Charles Bronson on these men. But I suppose it was the only way of getting out of this mess.


"A Very Cold Gimlet" by Frank Sisk. 6/10
Architectural engineer Osgood Chace has stricken up an intimate relationship with Janice Sanford, wife of M. P. Sanford, the president of the company he is currently on contract with. An affair with Mrs. Sanford threatens Osgood's career, and yet she is indiscreet, taking unnecessary risks. Most unusual us the particular night of this story, when she drives Osgood to a chic restaurant she and her husband frequent. A good read though an unremarkable story. Sisk once again focuses on character to make the plot work.


"See No Evil" by Gloria Ericson. 7/10
Lonely and arthritic pet shop owner Benjy is tired of running a failing business inherited from his father. He shares the shop with the old caged monkey Jiggs, and the two make a depressive pair. Yet Benjy's luck might have just changed as old lady Miss Decker collapses in the shop from an apparent heart attack while searching for a toy for her ailing dog. Falling to the floor, the contents of her purse spill out and a wad of bills rolls to Benjy's feet. On a whim he takes her key and hurries over to her apartment where he finds, stashed beneath her mattress, thousands of dollars in cash. An easy windfall, yet when he returns to the shop and tries to move the old lady she stirs in his hands. Desperately wanting freedom from his miserable life, without thinking it through and in a fit of frustrated passion, he stabs her to death.

"See No Evil" is a suspenseful story with a strong finish. More than merely a simple mystery, there is a great link between the old, embittered man and the sour, caged monkey. Depressing notions of wasted lives and utter hopelessness prevail throughout the story, and I'm not sure which creature I feel sorry for the most, but I did feel pangs of sadness toward both sudden criminal and non-comprehending caged witness.


"The Perfect Wife" by Arthur Porges. 6/10
"Every now and then I have to go out and kill somebody." Korean war veteran takes to killing old biddies, nosy, arrogant women with chicken necks who are a nuisance to America society. Told through his point of view, this quick and predictable read is nonetheless enjoyable (mainly because it's so quick).


"The Five-Minute Millionaire" by James Cross. 6/10
Rife with gambling debts, Tommy Russell wants his uncle to release his inheritance, but Uncle Fred Rawlinson is aware of Russell's lifestyle and instead encourages him to find a job. Averse to working, Russell instead convinces his lover Phyllis to seduce the older bachelor, so that when he dies of unnatural causes, they would gain both Russell's inheritance as well as Uncle Fred's fortune.

A fun read, well written, and despite what should be an obvious ending (because it's been done countless times), I nonetheless did not see it coming.


"Gallivantin' Woman" by Wenzell Brown. 5/10
Reclusive Miss Susie Sloane comes down from her home in Mount Solomon to good-naturedly annoy the good people of Cripple's Bend. Yet things change when she unknowingly stumbles upon a bank robbery in progress.

The humour is ultra light and there isn't much a mystery. Written through the point of view of the local sheriff, a man with a soft spot for Susie, we get the full range of small-town dialect, from tone to spellin' to expressions. The story was written clearly for laughs, and though somewhat amusing it certainly isn't memorable.


"The Kidnappers" by Max Van Derveer. 6/10
Lonely and neglected wife of a millionaire Rita Kapon falls for the dashing salesman/crook Robert Shelton, and agrees to let herself and son Timothy to be kidnapped for ransom. Shelton does, after all, promise they will be together after it's all over. While the gluttonous Mr. Kapon cares little for his wife, who he keeps on a shoestring budget, he takes the bait because of his love for his son.

A good read and a plot that can go in many directions. The finish opted for does become obvious once we near it, which is too bad, and the story should perhaps not have been included in the same issue as James Cross's "The Five-Minute Millionaire."

Spoiler: It makes no sense that Kapon's secretary Connie Landers, who he is having an affair with, turns out to be Shelton's partner. Connie taking an inside job, one that she's likely had for some time, does nothing in aiding the ransom plan. Yeah it's another twist, but if we stop to think about it, it just doesn't make much sense.


"Welcome, Stranger" by Elijah Ellis. 6/10
Garvin is driving through a small town notorious for crooked cops who pick up strangers for the most ridiculous of violations, and though he is aware of the town's nature, he is nonetheless committing several offenses. The thing is, hidden in his coat is a tape recorder and in the back of the car his partner Mac; the two men are trying to get caught and in the process catch the crooked law red-handed.

A quick read, and yet another enjoyable yet eventually forgettable little story. The ending is odd, as there is a little additional dialogue that should have been edited out, and its presence really drags the story down at the finish.


"Slow Motion Murder" by Richard Hardwick. 6/10
Sheriff Dan Peavy, officer/narrator Pete Miller, Deputy Jerry and the rest of the gang from Guale County are back for yet another local murder. The victim this time is the despicable Bernie Hibler, a man many would've liked to have seen dead. His body is discovered in his boathouse, tied to a mast, gagged and blindfolded, and shot through the heart.

As with other Dan Peavy mysteries, this one features the comical Jerry getting into some wild and crazy antics that ultimately help Peavy figure out how the murder was set up and who the culprit is. Neat murder idea, though there's enough clues close to the beginning to point the reader toward figuring it out, at least in part. Too bad, as the novelette ends up being too long for its own good. (For a review of Hardwick's Peavy novelette "Sheriff Peavey's Double Dead Case," please see here.)